I Bend So I Don’t Break

While I didn’t realize it at the time, I self-medicated my anxiety with Parliament Lights for about eighteen years. And ever since I quitting smoking five years ago, my anxiety has been off the chain.

Then I started practicing yoga. Yoga, as it turns out, really calms my ass down. And because it made me feel so much better, I began practicing every day.

But then I broke my toe, and so I stopped practicing yoga every day. And then I got busy working, I stopped finding (making) time to practice all together.

Next thing you know, I’m crying on the subway because I can’t stop empathizing with the meth addict asking me for a token.

Looking back, I’ve noticed a pattern: It’s starts with me getting busy and abandoning my daily practice in an attempt to make more time and ends with me being reduced to tears in a public place (what can I say, I love an audience).

But that’s what crazy people do; we take our meds just long enough to feel better. And then once we feel better, we think we don’t need them anymore.

So now I know: I need to do yoga. EVERY DAMN DAY.

“I bend so I don’t break” is one of those phrases that feels a little cliched because it has been hash tagged to death. But none the less, it really speaks to me. Because if I don’t practice self-care of some kind, I’m going to break (down).

And so in the interest of getting back into the habit, I’m starting another yoga challenge. This time on the Instagram. Anyone wanting in on this action, you know where to find me.

What kind of self-care do you need to start practicing?

6 thoughts on “I Bend So I Don’t Break

  1. This sounds alot ike me ……As I sit here thinking of all the reasons I shouldn’t go to yoga this morning , to practice for my sanity .. My emotional , physical well being !

  2. As I read this, I’m 52 years old.
    1) My “friends” that I once spent time with have disappeared into their own lives more than a decade ago.
    2) Family is scattered and doesn’t keep in touch with us.
    3). My job is, ridiculously, a hot bed of insanity and not a place to trust anyone.
    4) I am stressed, aching, lonely, bored, and disgusted with life.
    An acquaintance suggested yoga years ago and it’s time to take it seriously. It’s supposed to be good for the joints.
    Thank you, Raina, for speaking truth that we all need to have in our collective face!

    1. Yoga changes lives. That’s real talk. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Why not give it a shot? A $5 mat from Five Below and videos on YouTube is a great place to start dabbling. Also a book or DVD from the library would be great, too.

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